Second Degree Black Belt Rank

You've come a long way, baby... Perseverance looks great on you, Caleb, and we are so proud of you. ❤️

Second Degree Black Belt *DECIDED*

81 moves successfully executed to complete his Shim Jun form.  In addition, he had to do two board breaks; flying side kick and a downward knife-hand strike.

Caleb's Taekwondo instructors are truly amazing.  They push him to be better, but are patient with his personal journey.  They’re caring and compassionate and truly go above and beyond to help every student reach their individual goals. Taekwondo has definitely been the best choice for Caleb over the years and one that we have never regretted.  We later discovered that it is one of the highest recommended sports for children with sensory issues. It checks off so many of the boxes that these kiddos need (resistive muscle activity, coordinated movement, body position and balance.) Organized team sports were too chaotic with too much movement around him. (Although he did have fun playing tag and doing cartwheels on that big shiny floor . The last 60 seconds were usually spent standing in the middle of the court watching the timer so that the buzzer wouldn't catch him off guard.  ) 

Not only has Caleb achieved Black Belt Rank under their training and instruction, but he is gaining so much more. He is learning the disciplines of hard work and perseverance, but also the value of honor, courtesy, and respect for those around him and also for himself. Second Degree Rank is right around the corner! I would recommend Martial Arts for anyone, but especially for any child with sensory or motor deficits, this is a great way to fill some of those gaps and also to help build confidence and give them a sense of accomplishment and achievement.

The journey to success may look different for everyone but one thing is certain, failure only happens the moment you decide to quit trying. #thepowerofYET

Drum Roll Please....

    
     Oh, yes he did! Beautiful way to end the week AND the quarter. 
Despite a few hiccups and personal challenges, Caleb rose above them all and finished strong. All good feedback from teachers, specifically noting consistent positive effort and participation. So proud and so very thankful!

     One thing that brings me great satisfaction is that he has begun to embrace his own academic journey.  He's advocating for himself and asking for help when needed, but he's also doing more of his work independently.  He's taking responsibility for his schedule and assignments and remembering to turn things in when they're due.  If he has needed to touch base with a teacher regarding a late or missing assignment, he did it on his own with little to no prompts from me.  These are all wonderful steps in the right direction toward a bright  and independent future.

One down, three to go! 

"I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day." 
2 Timothy 1:12

It's not all about the grades...

   

     Yesterday Caleb came home from school to tell us that he had his first test of the year coming up... TODAY.  Less than 24 hours notice for Mom to help prepare for a test that could either continue to propel him forward or derail him and cause us to lose the beautiful momentum that we've been gaining. 

     "Ok, Caleb.  No problem.  We've got this.  What do we need to study?"  Caleb promptly and confidently responded saying that he needed to label a U.S. map with all 50 states.  "Ummmm, ok and you knew about this WHEN?"  He did know about it earlier in the week, but I don't think fully understood the undertaking studying for a test like this would be.  We worked for about 2 hours, labeling maps, finding patterns to shapes of states and finding fun in the learning.  We laughed and kept things as lighthearted and stress-free as possible.  He worked so very hard and had an amazing attitude the entire time....Very low anxiety.  As we approached bedtime, and I could see he was beginning to bog down, I told him to take a shower and do his exercises and then we'd give it one more go before bed.  On his last try, without any prompts, he correctly labeled 47 of the 50 states.  With only a few obscure clues, he figured out the final three.  He was ready, he was confident and I WAS PROUD... Never has studying been this easy or fun with my kid.

     Needless to say I was waiting with bated breath to hear the results of what we were sure would be a winning score.  My extended afternoon working in my classroom only prolonged the agony, but finally it was time to go home and hear the news.  When I walked in the door, I made a beeline straight for Caleb.  "Well?  How'd you do on the test?"  He responded, "Good, but I didn't know any of the capitals so I got 20% off."  ***WHAT?***  Nowhere did either of us read that he needed to know the states AND capitals.  I looked through his binder, I looked online....NOTHING.  Ugh.  "This isn't going to be good." I thought to myself as I considered all of the possible scenarios of how he must have responded to the unexpected failure.  Years of experience had led me to believe that this could turn into a series of self-hate comments and a "Why did I even bother to try?" attitude. 

Here is the most beautiful part of it though.

He looked up at me with the sweetest smile and so very calmly said, "But it's ok, mom.  I'm ok.  I got a B.  I don't usually get those."  ***JAW DROPPED MOMENT*** What a rock star.  I spend every day instilling in my Third Grade students the importance of embracing challenges and mistakes because they help us learn.  Celebrate the failures!  Build monuments around them.  However, it's been a difficult mantra for Caleb to grasp.  His focus in the past would have gone right to the missed content, and he would have remained frozen in that place with no desire to try again.

     When I further considered his response to the whole situation, I found myself so full of gratitude.  There were several beautiful miracles to recognize along the way, and if I had been so focused on the grade and the disappointment with myself for not helping him to prepare better, I would have missed the opportunities to spot them.  To start, the panic of a night before test cram session in the past would have sent Caleb into a spiral of many meltdowns, shutdowns, tears, avoidance tactics....the list goes on.  Instead, he was ready to get to work.  He was cooperative, calm, focused and truly delightful to work with.  Secondly, for him to remember that many state names and locations in such a short amount of time was a true miracle in itself.  Soooo much going on in that little brain of his for so many years, he would easily become flooded and overwhelmed causing instant shut down.  When he woke in the morning, he was eager to go.  Head held high, smile on his face and ready to conquer the beast.  He asked if I would pray over him and out he went.  If he was nervous, I certainly didn't see it.  The final miracle I witnessed was in his response to a lower grade than expected.  He's an all or nothing kind of kid.  If his candy cane is broken, he won't eat it.  If the box to a new toy has a crease, back the store it goes.  We're working hard on that one, but it is what it is.  When he took the time to recognize that even a B is so much of an improvement from what he used to get, I realized that he's beginning to recognize the beauty in his OWN journey and he's proud of it. 
   
     Society would lead you to believe that it's all about the ribbons, awards and accolades, but today we found something much more priceless to celebrate.
What a gift for him....what a gift for ALL OF US.

Back in Action!

          Turning the page to another chapter in the story. After a much needed two years at home, Caleb is heading back to the classroom for the 9th Grade. Looking forward to a year of new adventures and tremendous growth... The staff and administration at the Intermediate High School have gone above and beyond to ensure a smooth transition and have far exceeded our expectations on all fronts. Praying for good friendships, the courage to make wise choices and opportunities for his strengths and talents to shine through as he navigates through the year.

          He loves all of his classes and likes his teachers.  His favorite class is Biology (no surprise there!).  The lab is full of all kinds of live animals which could prove to be a bit of a distraction at times, but a happy distraction, no doubt.  The counselor worked hard into the late hours one evening last week to ensure a solid schedule for him with electives that he would enjoy taking.  Woodworking, personal fitness, vocational readiness with on-campus work, video production....  Makes ME want to go back to school!  Ok, maybe not, but definitely excited for my young man.

          On his way out the door this morning for day three, he turned and said, "I think I'm going to really like school now, mom."  I said, "Caleb, I'm so glad!  That makes my heart so happy to hear that!"  He said, "Yeah, it's so much easier to concentrate and listen to my teachers now."  Then he paused and said, "Oh, and you don't have to walk me to the bus today if you don't want to.  I'm good to go on my own if that's ok."  "Yes, my dear.  It's MORE than ok," I thought to myself as I smiled and waved and a tear rolled down my cheek.  It's going to be a great year.

          Fly high, my shining star. 🌟 Show 'em what you're made of. Cheering you on all the way. ❤👊💪

"For I know whom I have believed in [with absolute trust and confidence in Him and in the truth of His deity], and I am persuaded [beyond any doubt] that He is able to keep that which I have committed to Him until that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

NO MORE MEDS!!!

     

     

   

    

     I have so very much been looking forward to sharing this news. Tomorrow marks four weeks of Caleb being medication free!!! He has been on the two prescription medications for attention and anxiety for over five years. Once we finally swallowed the pill (LITERALLY) of using medication to manage his symptoms, we really didn't see that there was an option for him to ever be off of it. In fact, it only seemed that the dosage was increasing as he grew. Earlier this year, we spoke with his psychiatrist about our desires to wean him off of the medication. It didn't come without resistance but he did agree to help us toward that end. Since beginning the Neurosensory Program with Dr. McFadden last Fall, we began seeing progress in so many areas. At the same time, we began to realize that all of these positive changes were because we were finally getting to the root of what was keeping him from reaching his potential. Years of interference to his central nervous system was literally holding him hostage in his own body and mind. My husband made the comment this past Spring that he was even becoming convinced that the program was working and with a contented sigh, said that it was so nice to begin to see and hear the REAL Caleb with no interference or obstacles in the way. As we continued to pull back on the dosage of medication, and realized there were no negative side effects, I began to also realize that our goals to eliminate medication were well within reach. When we finally decided to discontinue the prescription, I didn't say anything to Caleb about it. It was kind of comical that he didn't realize that he hadn't been taking it. After 2 weeks had gone by, I asked him if he realized that he hadn't been taking it. He immediately stopped what he was doing and looked at me wide-eyed and jaw-dropped and said, "Really? Are you sure? Huh... I guess I don't need it any more after all!" And then he smiled really, REALLY big. (and so did I...)

     I share this to say that if you're advocating for someone you love or know someone else who is, you don't have to settle.  Keep fighting, keep seeking answers and DON'T GIVE UP!  The body and mind are incredibly AMAZING and once unhindered, can function beautifully and naturally together as God designed... 

Black Belt Journey

***2nd Degree Black Belt Recommended!***  Four more months to go to complete testing for official 2nd degree rank. 

This is a link to his flying side kick and downward hammerfist board break (which he had to train using his left hand to avoid further injury to his right hand which he broke this past spring.) 

⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇  

Black Belt Board Breaks.  

He also completed 3 other components of testing including his Shim Jun Form consisting of 81 moves which he will perform again in December.  The components that go into this type of testing defy all of the limitations that Caleb's diagnoses have put on him:  Balance, coordination, memory, focus, control....So proud of him and so thankful to his instructors​ at ATA in Wexford, PA for their continued dedication to Caleb's personal journey to not just achieve excellence as a martial artist, but to continually strive to be better inwardly (mentally, emotionally and physically), learning the value of hard work, respect and perseverance.  The look of accomlishment on his face said so much with NO WORDS.  Had a hard time holding back the tears!  Onward and upward!  (Stay tuned!) 👊💪  

Social Interaction Goals

 
       

          Oh, to have been a fly on the wall today.  Caleb had a unique opportunity to witness a ribbon cutting ceremony for the National Aviary's Tropical Rainforest renovation project.  It was a fairly intimate catered breakfast event attended by donors, reporters, and other members of the aviary.  Caleb's love for all animals is no secret so of course this outing today is the highlight of his week.

     
          In looking at all of the pictures though, there was one thing that stood out to me larger and louder than any other photo of him interacting with his feathered fowl friends.  It was hidden in the photos of him interacting with the docent:  Fully engaged in passionate conversation about something that they both love.  Caleb not only contributed appropriately and meaningfully to the conversation, but listened actively as the man shared his own knowledge and expertise with Caleb.

       






          That may not seem like a big deal for most, but for me, this is a beautiful representation of something that we have desired to see for so long.  When Caleb first started receiving therapeutic services about 6 years ago, one of the goals written for him was that he would be able to SUSTAIN meaningful "volleyed" conversation with another individual (adult or peer).  This meant participating in both ends of conversations; giving AND receiving and providing appropriate eye contact throughout.  No matter what goals he has met or made progress with over the years, this is one of several that has seemed to loom in the shadows of every report.  He just couldn't connect...he didn't know how.  And if he wanted to share something, he certainly wasn't able or interested in sticking around long enough to keep a conversation going.  He just wanted to share a fun fact and the matter usually stopped there.  That's really all the more his focus and attention would allow.  More recently, though, he is beginning to truly and genuinely be just as engaged in hearing what others have to contribute to a topic, and as a result is adding to his own learning, knowledge and understanding by leaps and bounds (but shhhhhh, don't tell HIM that!)
     

          So today, Caleb may be celebrating an opportunity to meet new avian friends and hold some butterflies, but as mom I see something so very different but just as beautiful... I see a continued emerging of a young man with a destiny and purpose far greater than one I can begin to imagine or hope for.  I don't know what all of this will look like another 6 years down the road, but I am fairly certain it's going to be pretty amazing.  Because this boy is pretty amazing.

Passing the Baton

     

     Self-awareness and self-advocacy are without a doubt huge components to raising any child, but especially is as important for a child on the spectrum.  Knowing what they need and being able to ask for it is a huge leap toward independence.  Tonight Caleb moved further toward that independence and self-advocacy during his reevaluation with his psychologist.  Using appropriate eye-contact and confident body posture, he was able to effectively convey the progress he has been making with his school work, emotions and behaviors.  He carried on fluid conversation with the doctor as they discussed different components to his plan of care including goals his has met and those that he's still working toward.  Even the doctor noticed how much more improved his conversation had become and asked Caleb why he thought he was doing better.  Caleb wasted no time as he began to share about all of the things that he felt were helping him to improve.  He said he was using more coping skills, making healthier options with food and said that he had been seeing "Dr. Jim" who had been helping him to feel better and do better in school.  After Caleb had talked for a while, I had the opportunity to share my perspective regarding his progress.  When I was finished sharing, he asked what I thought was contributing to such positive changes.  I told him I knew exactly what it was and began to share with him.  I shared about the neurosensory program, his diet changes and eliminating gluten and dairy, and told the doctor about the improvements he has made in school, at home and in his social skills group.  I finished with expressing the desire to have Caleb completely off of medication and his response, while not all that shocking, was disappointing.  He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, why would you want to do that?"  I said, "Why WOULDN'T we?!"  Although Caleb was able to carry the majority of the conversation, I was glad to still be there next to him so that he could hear the explanation of why we are doing what we are doing.  He KNOWS it's WORKING.  He KNOWS he's making PROGRESS, but to know that it's ok to see things differently than the doctor is important.  I want him to advocate for himself based on what is working, not on what is expected or just because it's the well-trodden path.  He's learning...  WE ALL ARE...

Peeling Back the Layers to Something Beautiful

     There is HUGE cause for celebration in our home this week and I think this smile says it all! Caleb has been putting a lot of hard work and effort into bringing up his grades. Over the course of the school year we have watched his grades climb out of the red to now having ALL PASSING GRADES! These past nine weeks, however, have shown the greatest improvement. His English/Reading grade went from a C- to an A and his Math grade went from a D to a C+. Science went from a D to a C and Social Studies climbed from a C to a B. What's even more noteworthy, though, is that at one point during this school year he was FAILING English! That's an impressive climb!

When Caleb was first diagnosed with autism and ADD, he was also diagnosed with a Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder. Reading and writing has without a doubt presented the biggest hurdle to his academic success. He began feeling very defeated and over the years, and we've watched him slowly give up. He just stopped caring and stopped trying. That's hard to watch as a parent when you feel like you're exhausting all resources, but as a teacher it was even harder. I'm supposed to know how to fix this. We had tried every motivational tool, incentive, threat, punishment.... We just couldn't gain consistent ground.

There are a lot of things we've done with Caleb over the years that have benefited him tremendously: supplements, essential oils, occupational, physical and mobile therapies, learning support, and social skills groups.... It wasn't until this year, that we began to learn that there was a deeper issue that needed to be addressed before we could see Caleb reach his full potential. Years of interference to his central nervous system has prevented him from being free to thrive socially, emotionally and academically. He was trapped. ***WAS trapped!*** The tides have turned and it is only forward progress 

from this point on. Since beginning the Neurosensory program, we have witnessed layer by layer peel away, releasing potential that was there all along.  We are seeing the real Caleb emerge almost like a butterfly from its cocoon, and it's a beautiful thing!  

This journey is a continuing saga with many written chapters yet to be discovered.  Life is a marathon, friends, not a sprint. If you're searching for answers to something, don't give up! Keep knocking on those doors. Keep asking questions. Lean into wise counsel. Learn from your challenges and mistakes, and learn from the challenges and mistakes of others. Your answers might just be right around the corner!  

Here is a link to a much better explanation of the Neurosensory program, originally developed by Dr. Monika Buerger, which targets Neurodevelopmental Disorders such as Autism Spectrum Disorders, ADD, ADHD and Learning Disorders ...

McFadden Chiropractic's Neurosensory Program

Jumping Hurdles with Roaches?!?!

     Caleb had an opportunity today to be the "expert" and share his knowledge of the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach with four different elementary and intermediate classes. I am beyond proud of how brave he was and how seriously he took this request. Communicating his thoughts and ideas has always been a challenge for him in general, so to share so openly and confidently in this forum is a MASSIVE hurdle in every way. He researched and organized his facts and information, made appropriate eye contact as he presented and even made some jokes. And I mean who can't take a kid seriously in a lab coat!? My heart was so full today as I watched Caleb shine as I know the young man he is destined to be... TO BE CONTINUED.....

Connecting the Dots...

    
     It's not uncommon after having a chiropractic adjustment that Caleb will use some extra time during the day to rest or sleep.  His body is accepting and responding to the adjustment and that's a good thing!  After his appointment today, he had an extra long nap.  When he got up, it was almost as if someone flipped a switch.  THAT KID WENT TO WORK!  He shoveled the driveway with his dad (with a winning attitude), came in and "reset" by taking a nice hot shower, did some school assignments without hesitation, did his sensory exercises, brushed his teeth and went to bed without a fuss.  As my husband came into the bedroom to get ready for bed himself, he made the comment that days like this are without a doubt proof that the Neurosensory Program Caleb is participating in is working.  Then he took a deep breath and smiled and said, "It's nice to see and hear the REAL Caleb with no interference or obstacles in the way."  After a long pause, he said he "gets it."  THAT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS!  It has always been important for my husband and me to work as a team, but especially with regards to Caleb's care, the consistency and follow-through is critical.  If we can't see eye to eye or work together effectively, it can adversely affect much-needed progress.

     So what is there to "get in the way?"  The brain's primary purpose is to control and manage every other system in the body.  The communication between the brain and body has only one path, and that is through the central nervous system.  If there is interference within the central nervous system, that communication will be interrupted and the body and brain will not function the way they were designed to.  The spine serves the function of protecting the nervous system.  If any part of the spine is out of place, it puts pressure on the nerves, causing the body and brain to be out of sync.  With routine, specific and gentle adjustments, those areas of interference can be corrected, reestablishing communication between the brain and body.  That is an essential ingredient in the recipe for a happy, strong and confident boy!!!

Not all days are as smooth sailing and seemingly perfect as this one, but we are having more and more of these days.  And, after so many years of having mostly battle line-drawn days, this is a refreshing wind of change!

BIG Changes

    The middle of the school year is a great time to reflect on growth, reassess strategies and tools for learning and reorganize goals for the months ahead.  For us, this has usually meant recognizing that we were really seeing more of the same, spinning our wheels gaining little ground.  Since Caleb was first diagnosed, we have sought to provide support that would not only help him academically, but also help to bring fewer outbursts of anger and frustration, less anxiety, and greater attention and focus.  One of my heart's greatest desires has been for his confidence to grow.  

     I am not exaggerating when I say that there were times that Caleb would ask us if we wished he was never born, or he would even go so far as to say HE wished he was never born.  He would threaten to hurt himself, threaten to run away or would just completely shut down.  This is a heartbreaking thing to hear and witness as a mom.  The helpless and hopeless look in his eyes would cause tears to fill mine.  I would have borne the weight of it all for him if I could, but that's not how it works....

     This school year, however, is different.  Throughout the past few months, we have already been seeing some great progress for ourselves at home, and have been over the moon thrilled with the feedback we have received from his therapists and other family members. He's been less reactionary, more content, more confident and more connected.  He's taken ownership of his own nutrition and has been diligent to do Dr. Jim's "exercise homework assignments."  He's doing school work more independently and his grades are climbing out of the red.  Even better yet, we have already begun reducing the dosage of his medication and anticipate one day being medication free!!!!  The best gift so far, though, is the smile I see on that face.  Happy and carefree, beginning to enjoy his own journey the way that every kid should.

     Even if you feel like you're at the end or your rope, don't give up!  Keep asking questions, keep knocking on those doors.  Keep seeking wise counsel.  Learn from the triumphs and mistakes of those around you.  Your answers are out there!  We are thankful for ALL the support Caleb has received over the years.  Each therapist and educational support teacher has been sent by God for their divine time, purpose and place.  Thankful for all we have learned over the years and the tools that we have received to support Caleb at home.  However, some of what we have done has just been putting a band-aid on a wound that would likely never fully heal.  We weren't addressing the problem at its root.  We are now digging deep to get rid of anything that is keeping him from reaching his fullest potential and performing at his best... FEELING HIS BEST.....  SMILING ALL THE WHILE.  My heart is full, and I know we've only just begun.