Yesterday Caleb came home from school to tell us that he had his first test of the year coming up... TODAY. Less than 24 hours notice for Mom to help prepare for a test that could either continue to propel him forward or derail him and cause us to lose the beautiful momentum that we've been gaining.
"Ok, Caleb. No problem. We've got this. What do we need to study?" Caleb promptly and confidently responded saying that he needed to label a U.S. map with all 50 states. "Ummmm, ok and you knew about this WHEN?" He did know about it earlier in the week, but I don't think fully understood the undertaking studying for a test like this would be. We worked for about 2 hours, labeling maps, finding patterns to shapes of states and finding fun in the learning. We laughed and kept things as lighthearted and stress-free as possible. He worked so very hard and had an amazing attitude the entire time....Very low anxiety. As we approached bedtime, and I could see he was beginning to bog down, I told him to take a shower and do his exercises and then we'd give it one more go before bed. On his last try, without any prompts, he correctly labeled 47 of the 50 states. With only a few obscure clues, he figured out the final three. He was ready, he was confident and I WAS PROUD... Never has studying been this easy or fun with my kid.
Needless to say I was waiting with bated breath to hear the results of what we were sure would be a winning score. My extended afternoon working in my classroom only prolonged the agony, but finally it was time to go home and hear the news. When I walked in the door, I made a beeline straight for Caleb. "Well? How'd you do on the test?" He responded, "Good, but I didn't know any of the capitals so I got 20% off." ***WHAT?*** Nowhere did either of us read that he needed to know the states AND capitals. I looked through his binder, I looked online....NOTHING. Ugh. "This isn't going to be good." I thought to myself as I considered all of the possible scenarios of how he must have responded to the unexpected failure. Years of experience had led me to believe that this could turn into a series of self-hate comments and a "Why did I even bother to try?" attitude.
Here is the most beautiful part of it though.
He looked up at me with the sweetest smile and so very calmly said, "But it's ok, mom. I'm ok. I got a B. I don't usually get those." ***JAW DROPPED MOMENT*** What a rock star. I spend every day instilling in my Third Grade students the importance of embracing challenges and mistakes because they help us learn. Celebrate the failures! Build monuments around them. However, it's been a difficult mantra for Caleb to grasp. His focus in the past would have gone right to the missed content, and he would have remained frozen in that place with no desire to try again.
When I further considered his response to the whole situation, I found myself so full of gratitude. There were several beautiful miracles to recognize along the way, and if I had been so focused on the grade and the disappointment with myself for not helping him to prepare better, I would have missed the opportunities to spot them. To start, the panic of a night before test cram session in the past would have sent Caleb into a spiral of many meltdowns, shutdowns, tears, avoidance tactics....the list goes on. Instead, he was ready to get to work. He was cooperative, calm, focused and truly delightful to work with. Secondly, for him to remember that many state names and locations in such a short amount of time was a true miracle in itself. Soooo much going on in that little brain of his for so many years, he would easily become flooded and overwhelmed causing instant shut down. When he woke in the morning, he was eager to go. Head held high, smile on his face and ready to conquer the beast. He asked if I would pray over him and out he went. If he was nervous, I certainly didn't see it. The final miracle I witnessed was in his response to a lower grade than expected. He's an all or nothing kind of kid. If his candy cane is broken, he won't eat it. If the box to a new toy has a crease, back the store it goes. We're working hard on that one, but it is what it is. When he took the time to recognize that even a B is so much of an improvement from what he used to get, I realized that he's beginning to recognize the beauty in his OWN journey and he's proud of it.
Society would lead you to believe that it's all about the ribbons, awards and accolades, but today we found something much more priceless to celebrate.
What a gift for him....what a gift for ALL OF US.
