Still Moving Forward

I sometimes find it hard to swallow the pill of what society says my child's SUCCESS should look like; ***star athlete,*** honor student,*** certificate earner,*** award winner,*** class president,*** teacher's pet...*** The danger in swallowing this pill is that it will most likely cause me to miss out on the continual progress that my child is making.

Walking through my son's school during an Open House earlier this month, my eyes were drawn to magnificent projects with incredible detail, shiny trophies, posted awards and even a video of a student named "classroom hero." I looked over at my son's Social studies project with crooked index cards and messy writing.....I was immediately filled with tears of pride. If I had spent my time looking at all of the things that I wish had my son's name on it, I would have missed a real opportunity to celebrate with him. I would have missed out on celebrating that he actually COMPLETED 20 note cards for his social studies timeline and had them all in the correct order...I would have missed out on the joy of having him drag me to the music room to play a new song he learned on the dulcimer.... I would have missed out on hearing all that he has learned about the original 13 colonies as he proudly flipped through his project folder. I would have missed seeing him in a class video laughing, dancing and actually participating.

The thing about progress and growth is that we need to be careful to what we are measuring it against... Doctors don't measure growth based on the records of the previous patient. Doctors measure growth based on where you were before compared to where you are now. Progress is moving forward from where you used to be to where you are now.

Celebrate your child's milestones WHATEVER THEY MAY BE.... they are markers of God's faithfulness and hand on their lives. They are symbols of His grace and an unfolding and unveiling of a destiny far greater than one we can imagine.

Progress is Progress.....

Just because something is hard, doesn't mean it's impossible

I recently read a devotional by renowned author and speaker, Lisa Terkheurst.  She said, "There's a beautiful reality called imperfect progress."  She went on to say that "imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace."  Especially as women, we want everything that we have a part in to work well.... We want it to be right....we want it to be PERFECT.  Raising a child with exceptional needs has a tendency to leave dignity in the dust.  It's messy at times.  It draws attention.  It turns heads.

A recent blog post came on the heels of a rough day.  One of those "two steps forward, THREE steps back" kind of days.  Those days leave me feeling quite defeated.  *EXPOSED*... 

Judged

But who's on trial?  What's the charge? ...Being a perfect mom?  ...Getting it perfect?  ...Having children that are all neatly dressed, get straight A's, walking in a straight line with "yes ma'ams" and "no ma'ams" and all of the other well-mannered words that we teach our children?

If I lived with those expectations, I would NEVER get it right.  I would live in an endless cycle of imperfection and self-defeating insecurity.

So if there's no perfect progress, then what should I look for?  God started to gently speak to my heart, whispering...."Are you moving forward?  Are you doing your best?  Do you know that I love you and your son passionately no matter how the day turns out?"

GOD LOVES ME NO MATTER HOW MESSY THE PROGRESS IS....

God. Loves. Me.  

God. Loves. My. Kids.

Over the past month, Caleb has continued to make slow and steady progress.  Not perfect progress but progress nonetheless.  His teachers have begun to share more consistently about his days, promising to not just share the negative events or episodes.  Over the past week, we have had several positive reports.  His days haven't been perfect but they've showed the progress that we are looking for.  More easily corrected, doing his class work, recovering from behavioral episodes more quickly. THAT'S PROGRESS...  He's learning more, enjoying school more and feeling better about himself as a result. THAT'S PROGRESS...  When he feels better about himself, he keeps trying.

Doing homework with fewer fights....  It may not always be legible but he's learning and he's doing the work.  We're taking this one step at a time!

His teachers have been a blessing.  He has very understanding support staff beside and behind him that recognize when he needs some space, when he needs to be pushed and when he needs to be encouraged.  More importantly, he's recognizing his needs for himself.  He shares good things AND bad things about his day and knows when to tell his teachers that he just needs to work alone rather than in a group. THAT'S PROGRESS.

*SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE* ...the lesson learned from the famous story of the Tortoise and the Hare.  No need to rush.  No need to compare myself to other runners.  We are running our own race.  Have our own obstacles and our own pit stops.  There is no manual for how to do this right.  No cook book. No coach.  Or is there?  I *DO* have a coach.  It's the Holy Spirit.  I do have a manual.  It's the Word of God.  Word for Word, line by line, guiding me to every good work.  Teaching us how to run OUR race.  And if we stumble?  Jesus is right there to pick us back up...dust off our knees and get us back on our way.  Why???  Because He's running our race right along side us.

All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen. Jude 1:25