It's not all about the grades...

   

     Yesterday Caleb came home from school to tell us that he had his first test of the year coming up... TODAY.  Less than 24 hours notice for Mom to help prepare for a test that could either continue to propel him forward or derail him and cause us to lose the beautiful momentum that we've been gaining. 

     "Ok, Caleb.  No problem.  We've got this.  What do we need to study?"  Caleb promptly and confidently responded saying that he needed to label a U.S. map with all 50 states.  "Ummmm, ok and you knew about this WHEN?"  He did know about it earlier in the week, but I don't think fully understood the undertaking studying for a test like this would be.  We worked for about 2 hours, labeling maps, finding patterns to shapes of states and finding fun in the learning.  We laughed and kept things as lighthearted and stress-free as possible.  He worked so very hard and had an amazing attitude the entire time....Very low anxiety.  As we approached bedtime, and I could see he was beginning to bog down, I told him to take a shower and do his exercises and then we'd give it one more go before bed.  On his last try, without any prompts, he correctly labeled 47 of the 50 states.  With only a few obscure clues, he figured out the final three.  He was ready, he was confident and I WAS PROUD... Never has studying been this easy or fun with my kid.

     Needless to say I was waiting with bated breath to hear the results of what we were sure would be a winning score.  My extended afternoon working in my classroom only prolonged the agony, but finally it was time to go home and hear the news.  When I walked in the door, I made a beeline straight for Caleb.  "Well?  How'd you do on the test?"  He responded, "Good, but I didn't know any of the capitals so I got 20% off."  ***WHAT?***  Nowhere did either of us read that he needed to know the states AND capitals.  I looked through his binder, I looked online....NOTHING.  Ugh.  "This isn't going to be good." I thought to myself as I considered all of the possible scenarios of how he must have responded to the unexpected failure.  Years of experience had led me to believe that this could turn into a series of self-hate comments and a "Why did I even bother to try?" attitude. 

Here is the most beautiful part of it though.

He looked up at me with the sweetest smile and so very calmly said, "But it's ok, mom.  I'm ok.  I got a B.  I don't usually get those."  ***JAW DROPPED MOMENT*** What a rock star.  I spend every day instilling in my Third Grade students the importance of embracing challenges and mistakes because they help us learn.  Celebrate the failures!  Build monuments around them.  However, it's been a difficult mantra for Caleb to grasp.  His focus in the past would have gone right to the missed content, and he would have remained frozen in that place with no desire to try again.

     When I further considered his response to the whole situation, I found myself so full of gratitude.  There were several beautiful miracles to recognize along the way, and if I had been so focused on the grade and the disappointment with myself for not helping him to prepare better, I would have missed the opportunities to spot them.  To start, the panic of a night before test cram session in the past would have sent Caleb into a spiral of many meltdowns, shutdowns, tears, avoidance tactics....the list goes on.  Instead, he was ready to get to work.  He was cooperative, calm, focused and truly delightful to work with.  Secondly, for him to remember that many state names and locations in such a short amount of time was a true miracle in itself.  Soooo much going on in that little brain of his for so many years, he would easily become flooded and overwhelmed causing instant shut down.  When he woke in the morning, he was eager to go.  Head held high, smile on his face and ready to conquer the beast.  He asked if I would pray over him and out he went.  If he was nervous, I certainly didn't see it.  The final miracle I witnessed was in his response to a lower grade than expected.  He's an all or nothing kind of kid.  If his candy cane is broken, he won't eat it.  If the box to a new toy has a crease, back the store it goes.  We're working hard on that one, but it is what it is.  When he took the time to recognize that even a B is so much of an improvement from what he used to get, I realized that he's beginning to recognize the beauty in his OWN journey and he's proud of it. 
   
     Society would lead you to believe that it's all about the ribbons, awards and accolades, but today we found something much more priceless to celebrate.
What a gift for him....what a gift for ALL OF US.

Back in Action!

          Turning the page to another chapter in the story. After a much needed two years at home, Caleb is heading back to the classroom for the 9th Grade. Looking forward to a year of new adventures and tremendous growth... The staff and administration at the Intermediate High School have gone above and beyond to ensure a smooth transition and have far exceeded our expectations on all fronts. Praying for good friendships, the courage to make wise choices and opportunities for his strengths and talents to shine through as he navigates through the year.

          He loves all of his classes and likes his teachers.  His favorite class is Biology (no surprise there!).  The lab is full of all kinds of live animals which could prove to be a bit of a distraction at times, but a happy distraction, no doubt.  The counselor worked hard into the late hours one evening last week to ensure a solid schedule for him with electives that he would enjoy taking.  Woodworking, personal fitness, vocational readiness with on-campus work, video production....  Makes ME want to go back to school!  Ok, maybe not, but definitely excited for my young man.

          On his way out the door this morning for day three, he turned and said, "I think I'm going to really like school now, mom."  I said, "Caleb, I'm so glad!  That makes my heart so happy to hear that!"  He said, "Yeah, it's so much easier to concentrate and listen to my teachers now."  Then he paused and said, "Oh, and you don't have to walk me to the bus today if you don't want to.  I'm good to go on my own if that's ok."  "Yes, my dear.  It's MORE than ok," I thought to myself as I smiled and waved and a tear rolled down my cheek.  It's going to be a great year.

          Fly high, my shining star. 🌟 Show 'em what you're made of. Cheering you on all the way. ❤👊💪

"For I know whom I have believed in [with absolute trust and confidence in Him and in the truth of His deity], and I am persuaded [beyond any doubt] that He is able to keep that which I have committed to Him until that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

NO MORE MEDS!!!

     

     

   

    

     I have so very much been looking forward to sharing this news. Tomorrow marks four weeks of Caleb being medication free!!! He has been on the two prescription medications for attention and anxiety for over five years. Once we finally swallowed the pill (LITERALLY) of using medication to manage his symptoms, we really didn't see that there was an option for him to ever be off of it. In fact, it only seemed that the dosage was increasing as he grew. Earlier this year, we spoke with his psychiatrist about our desires to wean him off of the medication. It didn't come without resistance but he did agree to help us toward that end. Since beginning the Neurosensory Program with Dr. McFadden last Fall, we began seeing progress in so many areas. At the same time, we began to realize that all of these positive changes were because we were finally getting to the root of what was keeping him from reaching his potential. Years of interference to his central nervous system was literally holding him hostage in his own body and mind. My husband made the comment this past Spring that he was even becoming convinced that the program was working and with a contented sigh, said that it was so nice to begin to see and hear the REAL Caleb with no interference or obstacles in the way. As we continued to pull back on the dosage of medication, and realized there were no negative side effects, I began to also realize that our goals to eliminate medication were well within reach. When we finally decided to discontinue the prescription, I didn't say anything to Caleb about it. It was kind of comical that he didn't realize that he hadn't been taking it. After 2 weeks had gone by, I asked him if he realized that he hadn't been taking it. He immediately stopped what he was doing and looked at me wide-eyed and jaw-dropped and said, "Really? Are you sure? Huh... I guess I don't need it any more after all!" And then he smiled really, REALLY big. (and so did I...)

     I share this to say that if you're advocating for someone you love or know someone else who is, you don't have to settle.  Keep fighting, keep seeking answers and DON'T GIVE UP!  The body and mind are incredibly AMAZING and once unhindered, can function beautifully and naturally together as God designed... 

Black Belt Journey

***2nd Degree Black Belt Recommended!***  Four more months to go to complete testing for official 2nd degree rank. 

This is a link to his flying side kick and downward hammerfist board break (which he had to train using his left hand to avoid further injury to his right hand which he broke this past spring.) 

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Black Belt Board Breaks.  

He also completed 3 other components of testing including his Shim Jun Form consisting of 81 moves which he will perform again in December.  The components that go into this type of testing defy all of the limitations that Caleb's diagnoses have put on him:  Balance, coordination, memory, focus, control....So proud of him and so thankful to his instructors​ at ATA in Wexford, PA for their continued dedication to Caleb's personal journey to not just achieve excellence as a martial artist, but to continually strive to be better inwardly (mentally, emotionally and physically), learning the value of hard work, respect and perseverance.  The look of accomlishment on his face said so much with NO WORDS.  Had a hard time holding back the tears!  Onward and upward!  (Stay tuned!) 👊💪  

Social Interaction Goals

 
       

          Oh, to have been a fly on the wall today.  Caleb had a unique opportunity to witness a ribbon cutting ceremony for the National Aviary's Tropical Rainforest renovation project.  It was a fairly intimate catered breakfast event attended by donors, reporters, and other members of the aviary.  Caleb's love for all animals is no secret so of course this outing today is the highlight of his week.

     
          In looking at all of the pictures though, there was one thing that stood out to me larger and louder than any other photo of him interacting with his feathered fowl friends.  It was hidden in the photos of him interacting with the docent:  Fully engaged in passionate conversation about something that they both love.  Caleb not only contributed appropriately and meaningfully to the conversation, but listened actively as the man shared his own knowledge and expertise with Caleb.

       






          That may not seem like a big deal for most, but for me, this is a beautiful representation of something that we have desired to see for so long.  When Caleb first started receiving therapeutic services about 6 years ago, one of the goals written for him was that he would be able to SUSTAIN meaningful "volleyed" conversation with another individual (adult or peer).  This meant participating in both ends of conversations; giving AND receiving and providing appropriate eye contact throughout.  No matter what goals he has met or made progress with over the years, this is one of several that has seemed to loom in the shadows of every report.  He just couldn't connect...he didn't know how.  And if he wanted to share something, he certainly wasn't able or interested in sticking around long enough to keep a conversation going.  He just wanted to share a fun fact and the matter usually stopped there.  That's really all the more his focus and attention would allow.  More recently, though, he is beginning to truly and genuinely be just as engaged in hearing what others have to contribute to a topic, and as a result is adding to his own learning, knowledge and understanding by leaps and bounds (but shhhhhh, don't tell HIM that!)
     

          So today, Caleb may be celebrating an opportunity to meet new avian friends and hold some butterflies, but as mom I see something so very different but just as beautiful... I see a continued emerging of a young man with a destiny and purpose far greater than one I can begin to imagine or hope for.  I don't know what all of this will look like another 6 years down the road, but I am fairly certain it's going to be pretty amazing.  Because this boy is pretty amazing.