Be a Door

In her blog, 'Pieces of me," Amanda Owen does such a beautiful job of describing the relationship between a child with extraordinary needs and his or her siblings...she lays out 5 emotions that those siblings can experience on any given day... She then goes on to share the importance for those siblings to help open the way for success and opportunity for their struggling brother or sister.  "Be a door," she says.

The 5 Emotions a Sibling Experiences are highlighted below.  

Guilt- because they have a disability and you do not.  

Jealousy- fighting for parents’ attention is a child thing, but maybe a little more magnified when their sibling has a disability. Along with thinking that their sibling gets the “easy” way out of things such as chores, school work and other responsibilities and we the “typical” developing sibling will always be held to higher expectations.

Embarrassment- it’s not the disability itself that is embarrassing but situations that come along with it. We might always be scanning the room to see if others  are watching or noticing that we do things “different”.

Hate- sometimes it’s just needing to hate the disability, not the person

The 3 P’s (Pride, Protective, Possession)

Pride- that God chose them to be their sibling and the realization that their sibling will teach them more about life than anything.

Protective – becoming the shield that blocks and pushes back the negativity in the world  associated with disabilities.

Possession- the feeling that no one else can support or love their siblings like they can.

 I often worried that my two older children would resent their brother for the attention he demanded, the things that were broken in fits of rage and the drama that we daily endured in our home and in public... And to an extent that is true.  I have no doubt there were times they resented him.  They have had to walk this journey with us and have endured the stress and challenges of having a child in our home with extraordinary needs.  However, what I have seen over the years was not as much resentment but a growing in grace, compassion and empathy... My oldest recently son came home and shared about someone that was struggling at work.  He was frustrated with the lack of patience and empathy he felt the other coworkers were affording him.  He then said that he figured something out.  He just had to find that boy's niche - find an area in which he could shine.  Then he said, "you taught me that, mom..."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my kids get it in the best way they know how. Be  a door.... ❤️  This was a powerful message.

https://piecesofme.org/2019/05/31/the-emotional-impact-of-being-a-sibling-to-a-brother-sister-with-a-disability/

New Chapters ~ New Adventures

     

     First day of a new adventure and amazing opportunity for this critter lovin' kid. Caleb will be working this summer as a volunteer intern at the Pittsburgh National Aviary. The Aviary has always been such a calming and therapeutic place for him so he has spent countless hours developing relationship with not only the animals but also the docents. 

    

     With a desire to pursue a career in animal care and rescue I can see this being an amazing launching pad to his future. 

#justdoit

#justdoit
He did it...and he ROCKED IT. 😏

Freshman Year comes to a close with a well-deserved 3.5 final GPA.  This year has not been without its hiccups and speed bumps, but start to finish we really could not have asked for more. The fourth quarter especially was met with some challenges as Caleb has begun to transition to the regular co-taught classroom with fewer modifications in Math and English. Because of the depth of content in English he was quickly facing a failing grade. Instead of giving up and getting down on himself as he would have in the past he went on his own to the guidance counselor to seek help, which came as a surprise to us all. He then began working even harder to bring that grade up and finish strong.  Caleb has had an AMAZING team of support extending all the way to administration. Their dedication and commitment to Caleb's success has been overwhelmingly evident.  So blessed by the support and care Caleb has been surrounded with and so proud of HIM. He has shown so much courage and determination this year and his progress continues to amaze us. 

Caleb has grown so much this year and has worked so hard. He has increasingly gained more and more independence and has started to advocate more for himself, taking ownership for his part of the journey. The progress he's made has been so significant that his IEP team actually began removing and limiting modifications and have also recommended that he be placed in the regular classroom for all classes next year. Although this will provide new challenges, I have no doubt God will give the grace to help him rise above it.

The principal commented in a parting email that he believed that Caleb had shown more courage this year than most and on another occasion had told me how much he is inspired by him. I am too. Caleb is one of the strongest and bravest young men I know.

Just keep climbing, son... Can't wait to see your story unfold. ♥️

... To be continued

*** Miracles Do Happen ***

     If you don't think miracles can occur through chiropractic care, I can assure you , they most certainly do... and they are... Every day... About a year and a half ago, our son began his own miraculous journey with the McFaddens' Neurosensory Program that completely changed his direction and path for the better. His most recent report card is part of the proof. All A's and B's for the 3rd quarter IN A ROW and a 3.6 GPA 👊... Every single teacher comment pointed to consistent positive effort, a cooperative attitude and good participation during class instruction. That may not seem extraordinary at first glance, but for this kid it is. I pulled up a fairly recent report card to reflect on the difference and saw it riddled with ONLY negative comments...

*Lacks self-control

*Uncooperative

*Does not accept direction/help

*Disrespectful

     At the end of his 2nd grade year, he was diagnosed with autism, attention deficits, cognitive and developmental delays, and learning disabilities. No longer is he being identified with those behaviors and limitations, and the stigma of his diagnoses and labels are continuing to fade away. Even our son notices the difference more and more as he begins to experience new personal milestones. He even recently told his psychologist that for the first time in 15 years, he feels like a "normal kid."

We are continually in awe and full of gratitude at not only the progress he has made already but continues to make. Within the past few months, he received his 2nd degree black belt rank in martial arts, participated in his school's musical and has continued to experience an increase in self-confidence. We are now beginning to see a much more independent young man who is taking more personal responsibility for his own path, advocating for himself and openly accepting guidance and direction when needed. He is doing his school work and projects more independently and has a clearer understanding of coursework content. I used to imagine a future with constant support and never-ending struggle... But now?... Training wheels are off and he is flying. At the rate he's riding, any destination is possible. 

So I would say a resounding, "Yes." Miracles do happen through chiropractic, the discipline of self-care and good nutrition. Our son is one example, as are many others that have already and will continue to pass through their doors.

McFadden Chiropractic

A Star is Born

     

    

     This weekend we had the overwhelming joy of sitting back and watching our Caleb experience one of the biggest milestones in his life as he performed in Seneca Valley's Hello Dolly musical.

It has been so rewarding to watch him navigate this whole process with so much maturity and success. He poured everything he had into auditions and dedicated himself fully to an incredibly demanding rehearsal schedule all while managing his school assignments and tests. He remained focused and calm (well, mostly calm 😏), keeping his grades up - even scoring a 17/20 on a DNA Biology test the week of "go time."

   

  

   The positive connections with new friends has been an answer to prayer, and seeing him shine with so much joy and pride after every rehearsal and performance makes the late nights more than worthwhile. He's already talking about next year.

     

     Just two years ago all of this wouldn't have even been a remotely tangible possibility. He was clawing and crawling his way through the school year with an incredible amount of anxiety and frustration. His attention was so divided and limited that even managing his assignment book was difficult. We are just so amazed as we now sit back and continue to watch our Caleb "BECOME." Keep flying high, my shining star.... Show 'em what you've got. 🌟❤️🌟

(to be continued...)

"And you ask 'What if I fall?'

Oh but my darling,

What if you fly?" - Erin Hanson